If we learn one thing from our time in various states of social restriction, that many incorrectly keep referring to as lockdown, it is that we will learn absolutely nothing. Now is a time when we could as a population begin to sit back, relax and listen to each individual birdsong by an open window, trying to distinguish between the call of a goldfinch and a chaffinch. Instead we will spend the 23 hours a day we are painfully awake flitting between social media and 24hr news channels, absorbing each and every speculative scrap of claptrap, to give us something else to talk about between checking Facebook again and opening more gin. For me, it is the “updates” on pub reopenings and the conclusion of the football season. The latter involves me glancing at fictitious articles written by increasingly desperate sports reporters, fed to me through a WhatsApp group comprised mostly of Manchester United fans; Manchester United fans who are happy with their own cl...