Around a month ago I visited HulaTiki Lounge in Manchester’s Northern Quarter for the first time. I’d wanted to
visit for a while, hearing my friend talk about all the specialist rums after
he’d done the Rum Trail. But too often I was swayed into visiting the likes of
the nearby Common and Port Street Beer House for some decent beer instead. Also
the place seems continuously busy and popular, which isn’t a bad thing, though
the queue is exhausting. Being the Northern Quarter they hate men. Always take
a lady on your night out to the NQ. If you are 3+ males, you are not going
anywhere.
I’m not a huge spirits drinker.
I’ve long wanted to enjoy whiskey and scotch, hoping some dormant adult
admiration for the drink will arouse, especially as everything peaty or smoked
appeals, but I just have a childlike palate. What I can appreciate is decent
rum, neat and over plenty of ice. I’m not an expert on this spirit though. I
am, however, more partial to a spiced rum. Perhaps it’s my sweet tooth.
Whatever the cause, spiced rum would be my spirit preference, and I’m not
ashamed by that.
After my first visit to Hula
Tiki’s, I was left in a rage, ranting, fuming, at the incredible lack of
propriety, respect and service shown by one member of staff. I thought then of
writing about the experience, but I just put it down to the “NQ” attitude. In
fact, as you’ll recall from this post, really it’s the “Manchester” attitude.
Politeness and customer service are, of course, uncool. Here is a transcript of
my first conversation with a bartender from Hula Tiki Lounge:-
“What Spiced Rum do you do?”
“Erm… I’m not sure. Do we do
Bacardi Breezers?”
“…………….”
“Alright, we’ve got Kraken,
Sailor Jerry’s, Chairman’s Reserve…”
“I’ll have a Chairman’s Reserve,
please.”
“Why would you want to drink
that?”
“It’s my favourite spiced rum.”
*Shaking his head* “It’s the best
of a bad bunch, I suppose. Still horrible.”
It wasn’t just the odd mockery,
but the rather repugnant attitude. So I sat down in this bar having been
thoroughly ridiculed for my choice of beverage and hating everything about the
bartender. He likes his rum – obvious. He hates people – more obvious.
I tried to talk it out with my
friends, referencing times I’ve seen people put down in beer bars for ordering
rubbish. One likened it to going into Port Street and ordering Carling. I
initially agreed, but then took this back. This was like going into Port Street
and ordering Moravka; most of the staff will know that it’s the cop-out choice
for people who don’t really like beer, but they are unlikely to voice it. I
referenced a recent experience in the Porterhouse Bar in Dublin where somebody
came in asking, “Do you have Guinness? No? Then what do you have similar?” to
which the bartender replied, “Water.” I thought it was hilarious, but then the
bar doesn’t actually sell Guinness so it is funny. Hula Tiki Lounge does sell spiced rum.
I was going to forget about
lambasting a bar just because of one man’s hatred, but then I returned to Hula
Tiki Lounge last weekend and had the following conversation with a different
barman:-
“Can I have a Chairman’s Reserve
Spiced, please?”
*Barman wrinkles his nose,
grudgingly slams the drink on the bar.*
“Can I have some diet coke with
it, please?”
*Barman sighs, puts coke next to
drink and glares at me.*
“Can I have a slice of lime in
the rum too, please?”
“You can have whatever you want,
darling.”
Shocking. Actually shocking. I
accept that ordering such a drink in a specialist rum bar must be like ordering
a lager top anywhere. But sometimes when I’m in a bar, I don’t want my rum
neat. I’m unlikely to enjoy it, or it’ll disappear too quickly.
Of course, being patronised by
bar staff is probably completely acceptable these days and I’m not hipster
enough to appreciate the irony. Whilst I’ve seen pubs and bars such as The
Grove, Huddersfield and Brewdog Manchester be testy with people ordering a
Fosters with a certain amount of contempt, knowing that it’s clearly not on the
bar, this is not the same. Plus, I refuse to believe that the majority of
people in Hula Tiki Lounge that night weren’t having some form of mixer with
their rum. Were they all approached with a degree of hostility?
I’ve wondered ever since if beer
enthusiasts have similar attitudes or approaches and I can’t think of a time
I’ve been angered by anybody’s choice of drink. To be a bartender and do so is
interesting.
Perhaps this is all just a
terrific marketing ploy to play this game, because I’m left wanting to return
to this bar to marvel at the customer service. One day I would have liked to
gone and sampled some rum rarities, but instead I’m just going to order a
spiced rum with coke and lime every time. It’s just a little game we like to
play. I wonder if the last guy would have the stones to patronisingly call me
“darling” stood on the other side of the bar…
Visit Manchester – we hate
people!
Comments
I would have thought they could at least have recommended something else for you to try, but it sounds like their product knowledge is as poor as their customer service. Betting all they punt is the next 'undiscovered' brand.
Still, sure you have plenty of good places to drink!
Baseball Hats