Advent Calendar Window 15 - Festive Christmas Porter

"We specialised in causing pain,
Spreading fear and doubt.
And if you couldn't pay the rent,
We simply threw you out."

Burton Upon Trent has, as many of you will know, long been a reputed beer town. But with the four famous names in the town, Bass, Allied, Marston's and Everard's being sold to bigger businesses so they could remian household names, it became the small town of sellouts. Still, part of the tradition exists in Burton Bridge Brewery ensuring the Beer-Mecca town still has a micro. The terrific story continues here.

I am upset I have struggled to keep these posts up-to-date, but moving house and not having the internet in my new dwelling has made it near impossible. So, this post relates to the beer behind Window 15 that I drank on Monday. The weakest beer in the calendar I believe, but still an exciting one for me. Simple branding and a simple name will hopefully lead to a traditional, simple but solid little beer. Let us find out.

Burton Bridge - Festive Christmas Porter = 4.5%

A dark bistre with off colour, foamy head, the nose is utterly scentless minus a few hints of the most basic of roasting malts. There's almost nothing to describe here so let's hope for better with the taste. Yep, utterly tasteless. I've never known a beer to have so little to it. I actually can't find any discernible flavour to write about. There are no tasting notes to give you. There is no taste. I'm now searching the room for something to say. Erm... wouldn't it be interesting if they made a sequel to The Nightmare Before Christmas. I mean, there was quite a number of different "holiday" doors there which gives some scope. I'd love Jack to visit Thanksgiving Town. What the hell is that like? Is it a place where the pilgrims spend all year long murdering Indians whilst eating turkey? How does it work? Make the film, Tim!

I've allowed this beer time to settle, warm, develop and breed aliens in an attempt to find something else to write about, but it isn't offering anything. It's not awful. It's not a drain pour. It's a porter because it tastes like roasted malts and beer. I can't give you anything other than that. Does anybody have anything else to say? Wouldn't it be interesting if they made a sequel to the Muppet's Christ... oh forget it!

Christmas Spirit Rating: 2%. I wonder if that tinsel will taste of more than this beer.

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